When you're truly and completely in love, it is a different feeling than the one you had before when you thought you were in love. It's a feeling where you feel completely safe, at peace, love each other more and more every day, cheer on each other through successes, be there through the failures and rough times... its when that little bit of doubt, of "there may be something missing," is completely not there. It's when you share the same values, and when they look at you, you melt every time. You feel like you have known them a lifetime. They have been through similar things to you.
The Love of Your life is waiting around the corner, when you thought it was the end of the world.
I am so happy to have found the love of my life, Ryan. Just when I was losing hope that real love exists and that there is someone for me in this world, Ryan shows up, who was thinking the exact same thing. He always tells me how much I mean to him and treats me so amazing every single day. We moved in together which was a big step and so far, it has been amazing. We made a nice little home for his two girls, my step daughters.
Going through the same things in life previously, added to our bond, having a deep understanding, being good people from the core, who would never hurt each other the way we’ve been hurt before - having the same values of being with the same person for life, with him only having been with two women before, added to it as well. We both knew that the person we had was rare.
He is a farmer to the core, grew up working on his dads farm, a real hard working man. I admire his stamina. No need for the gym or inflated muscles for him. He can lift pretty much anything. He eats what I give him, doesn’t waste food, loves to eat healthy and always goes back for more and compliments me on my cooking and thanks me for making him delicious dinners and lunches. No burgers and fries for this guy… well sometimes he makes amazing burgers from scratch, but he enjoys, juicy steaks, salads, vegetables, gravies, juicy chicken, kabobs, rices, salmon, mac and cheese bakes, spicy soups and all kinds of delicious food - he always says he’s not picky and will eat pretty much anything - he is obsessed with spice and hot peppers lol… really obsessed lol. He loves animals and is just as kind to them as I am, and loves all the same movies and varieties of music.
Ryan can build anything around the house from scratch and is my best friend, my soul mate. Love him forever and always and I can’t wait to him more and more each and every day and one day extend our family even more maybe. After the way I feel with him I know that I had never truly been in love before. This is what love feels like, when there is nothing missing and you can’t picture your life without that person. A man who makes you feel loved, secure, beautiful, special, a prize, a man where you want to tell him every day what an amazing man he is and how much you appreciate him. Its that dynamic of both believing we have something special and amazing that we love so much that is what true love is. Remember that both people in a relationship need to be loved and appreciated, otherwise a relationship can turn toxic.
Also, who would have thought that such a good guy would be so darn handsome. ugh I am in heaven every single day he looks at me with his striking blue/green eyes.
I hope you all find the loves of your life like I have.
Love Jade.
Giving TRUE LOVE a chance again
If you have been close to me, over the last year or so, its been pretty rough for me emotionally, being able to open up and trust guys. It is also already pretty rare that good guys exist. Sometimes by fluke though, you can find someone perfect for you. Someone who motivates you to do well in your career, someone who makes you feel loved, safe, happy, secure and encouraged - never put down or belittled. A man who makes you feel like a prize. A man who actually brings you flowers on a date. A man who has been through similar things as you have and can share and relate. Two people who can be together forever and bring out the best in each other. Everything happens at the right time. We have already decided that we want to be together forever. We both feel so lucky to have met. There are so many ways he is amazing that words cannot even explain. He is loyal, kind, honest (brutally), good and gives me butterflies in every kind of way. We both want that kind of love where we wake up 30 years from now and love each other more than we did at the start.
All of the bad things you have gone through, is just preparing you to be a better partner to the person you are supposed to be with.
Love Jade.
Brand new Jade
I really wanted to share this with you loves. As you know, I have been through a lot. I have been making self care, self love, forgiveness, peace and happiness a priority in my life now. I started taking medication for Depression and trauma, while also keeping in mind that life is short and that there are so many exciting things to do and achieve and so little time. I made a decision to put my energy into good things. If you’ve read earlier entries, sometimes the way I went about things were not the best, because of all of the trauma, and craziness I was under, feeling like things are unjust or dealing with a lot, feeling unheard. I made a decision to be nice to everyone, no matter what they do to me, and to help as many people I can, and most importantly, to be nice to myself.
Remember to always take time to yourself, to relax, take care of your skin, drink water, smile, watch movies, play with your dog, buy yourself something nice, forget about your work for a little while and reenergize.
I also wanted to tell my young fans, to listen to your parents. It’s so easy to ignore what they say, but they are probably telling you things for good reason, through their own wisdom and experiences. My grandmother told me she didn’t listen to her dad, and then got involved with a not so great man she had to divorce. My grandmother did tell me that men don’t usually mean what they say and that it takes time to see if they are good, and that it’s best not to give anything away - many parents tell their daughters the same, but most don’t listen. Listen. This has inspired my next song. “Shoulda listened to your mama when she told you to be careful, she said don’t you go believing what he said, he’s said it a hundred other times, to a hundred other girls.”
I wanted to share my therapy report with you loves and I encourage you to also talk to someone if you are ever feeling overwhelmed. It’s never too late to start your life over. As Taylor Swift said; “You’re still an innocent.” Meaning it’s your choice to not let your past define you, and have a rebirth. We aren’t always in control of the bad things we are born into or the bad things that touch our lives, and sometimes we aren’t the best at reacting to those things,- naturally, when we feel hurt, attacked etc, we want to be mean back, but this can create a vicious cycle of revenge, sometimes good intentions can also be blown out of proportion to where it’s no longer appropriate, because of your mental state is so traumatic, that you may not be able to separate the thin line between taking things too far and acting appropriately; however, breathe and know that you can get your life back on track. It will take some time to clear things, and completely start over, but start taking those steps today. To start, you have to look at where your life is, and how it will be if you keep doing whatever it is you are doing, then you need to decide what’s more important to you, things you’ve been doing that bring you stress, or living a good life and being happy. You also have to think about the things that you won’t be able to do, ie, help vulnerable women, unless your own life is stable.
I’ve got a song on American country radio, I’m studying to be a lawyer, I love life and I couldn’t be happier. Trust me - there were times when my trauma, almost took all of that away from me. I changed in time and you can change anything you want, so no matter what you may be going through, if you are in an abusive relationship, if you lost your job, if you are in legal issues, if you are in financial stress, if you are being bullied, if you are depressed because you don’t look like that ”thin beautiful model on Instagram” - everything will pass, find what you were put on this earth to do, and do it. Nothing will be more rewarding. Let God’s grace guide you. Just keep being kind and reminding yourself of all of the great and exciting things to look forward to. Remember, if it doesn’t bring you happiness or money, you don’t need it. This means, envy, jealousy, revenge, abusive people, bullies, anything at all… rid your life from toxins and let in only beauty. Ask yourself, what you want to do, and ask yourself if anything you are currently doing is going to interfere with that…. if the answer is yes, it’s time to leave it behind. A good example of this is if a man wants a family, but he gambles too much and no woman wants to stay with him because he is in debt and getting into more debt every day. If he prefers gambling, he will keep doing it, but if he prefers a family, he will have to stop. For me, it was that my depression and trauma were causing my reactions to hardships to be out of hand, despite good intention, my reactions were damaging and destructive to my future. I had to decide what was more important, my music career and becoming a lawyer, or if I liked the way things were now. Naturally, I wanted singer and lawyer, so I knew I had to make changes so I am less affected by things, so I can brush things off.
One additional thing I want to state as a side note, especially in the current climate, there is a difference between wanting to raise awareness, help/educate/warn etc (being an activist basically) and taking it too far. Always be peaceful in your protests and never push your opinions on people, and never interfere with the rights of others, while trying to convey something. Here are some examples I have seen and heard of in the media before;
if you are against abortion, animal testing, peacefully protest and share your views through the media, but don’t show up at clinics or threaten anyone.
if you are protesting anything, never get violent.
if you want to raise awareness for women’s rights or warn women about red flags, never use real examples of people by name in your stories.
Remember that wanting to help, and stand up for what you believe in, is completely fine and very helpful to people, as it helps them learn different angles and also how to protect themselves, but make sure you are in a good frame of mind to know what is appropriate, so you don’t jeopardize your own happiness as well as others. Remember that everything you go through is for a reason, so use it to find your purpose, something you believe in, something you can give to the world to make it a better place.
Love Jade.
New guy
Met a great guy, 32. traditional views and morals, funny, sweet, so incredibly handsome, country music lover, has a truck, and owns two business; construction and hockey cards. It has actually felt like the movie “everlasting love” for both of us. He is such a kind soul, he said he would never want to see the person he loves struggle, so of course he would help her with anything she needs. so nice to see good guys, so refreshing, excited to see where it goes! wasn’t looking, happened by complete fluke. He treats me so well and is a relationship guy, who respects women, where you never have to worry about cheating or lying. We love all the same things, movies, places we want to travel to and more!
How to land the man you want
Hey loves, I promised to do a diary entry for ya’ll on men and how to make sure you have the kind of man you deserve who respects you. First off, I just wanted to comment on Stouffville, ON. Literally my dream home place, and I think I am going to buy a barn there and convert it into a house on a lot of property. Grey on the outside, and on the inside, one wall made out of log, with a deer head on it and then pink and white flower décor in the front door and in the window. Either there or in the Southern states, depending on if I am with someone and whether or not they want to live there too. Anyhow, lets get started...
With dating these days, I totally get the struggle. Men don’t seem to be putting in enough effort, and women want to be courted. Here are my tips, to ensuring that you have the best chance at securing the kind of guy you will be happy with.
Don’t chase him, have him chase you: This means do not call him or text him lots, let him contact you. Men like to be chasers and they get turned off by anything too easy. Do not play games though, waiting to text him back. Just text him back when you see his message.
If he doesn’t ask you out by Wednesday, for the weekend, then do not go out with him that weekend, no matter what. A man should make a date, on the last date or shortly after. If he is waiting, it’s because you are not a priority and he wants to see if something better is available.
If he cancels dates more than once, reschedules more than once, seems flaky or doesn’t keep his word, let him know you’re looking for a guy who is reliable, like a man should be. Men like to make women happy. Most men are innately protectors of the women they like and want. If men hear this, then they know they can’t mess around with you, and they will either leave or beg and step up their game. Any woman who is forgiving and lets a man do what he wants, will be walked over, as he will know you will accept everything and anything, and have a low self esteem. Then he will know he doesn’t need to honor his word.
If you follow these three tips, you are well on your way to finding a great guy who will respect you!
Love Jade.
Distance makes the heart grow fonder
There is an old saying; distance makes the heart grow stronger.
I really think this is true. Sometimes we just have to keep that in mind, that if that thing or that person was to go away, how much we would miss them.
I was thinking about my dog. I suffocate her with cuddles (jks) but when I go out, anywhere from ten minutes to a few hours, to a whole day, when I get back, she is shaking, tail wagging, jumping, and so happy, following me around everywhere, licking me. The longer we’re apart, the more stronger it is. I guess that goes the same for people. But it’s important to know and be aware of this, that way, you won’t be so hard on your loved ones, cause you’ll remember how much you’ll miss them when they’re gone.
Love Jade
Break ups are a good thing, they are a fresh start and a new page
Hey loves, I wanted to do a diary entry for you guys on relationships. I know it's been a crazy time with COVID-19 and I have been a little radio silent lately, but I want you to know, a lot of exciting things are coming up. I recently went through an 11 month relationship with someone and I wanted to share what happened and what I learned from it with you loves, so you can take some lessons out of my experience, to do well in your relationships!
Love so soon?
Is it possible to truly love someone after only knowing them 6 weeks? This is something that my latest breakup left me wondering. When we told each other we loved each other, it seemed like we did, although, it's possible that it could have been that we were in love with the idea of being in love. But more than ever, I believe love is a choice. You can't know that soon, if you love all of the bad qualities you may later learn about a person, but you can make a choice to love and accept them. The word "love" is unconditional and it's not something I personally take lightly and I've learned never to say it to someone again, until I know who they are 100%. There are a few things this relationship of 11 months taught me, before I get into those, let me explain what happened from my view.
We had lots in common it seemed - traditional values, country life, the belief in being with the same person for life. He asked me to marry him in the summer time, but kept putting off making it official, with a real ring, and announcement. He did lots for me - paid my phone bill each month without my ever asking, helped with $15,000 in legal fees and supported me and told me I never had to worry again, that I had him and that he was committed for life, as long as I wanted him - but it led to an ultimate betrayal, which made me realize that he never did truly love me, even though, I knew that sooner, because a "best friend" or person who ever truly loved you couldn't do what he did, especially knowing what I had been through. I'm glad it's over, although, it was unfortunate it ended the way it did.
Flags
Throughout the relationship there were flags - around month 8, I found out he was speaking badly about me, behind my back to various female friends and family members on Facebook. He did apologize, saying that he says mean things and exaggerates sometimes but that he loved me and wouldn't do it again. I was still hurt. I had always hyped him up and spoke highly of him. I was fragile due to my past - dating men who didn't truly love me. He continued to promise engagement, stringing along promises of a ring, but it never came and he never wanted people to know if he got me a ring. He would tell me that I needed to prove myself to him that I can make him happy for the long term. I lived with him so there was an expectation of a lot of intimacy, without commitment, which is not something I am accustomed to. Due to circumstances at the time, I had to live with him. Normally, you see a boyfriend once a week or so, which is better. I withdrew intimacy around month 8 when I started to feel like he didn't truly love me. Things then became pretty bad and toxic. He would ignore me and not come near me. Didn't want to go anywhere. He was one of those guys who will ignore a girl and do his own thing if he's upset about something she's doing. He is not a talker or communicator. He will allow rage to build up and then vent to friends/female confidants or else send me threatening angry texts while he's at work.
The emotional abuse was so bad that despite knowing my sufferance with heart palpitations associated with police, he would threaten police when I was doing nothing wrong. He was also very jealous of my accomplishments. He told me he loved me less than he did previously, wasn't sure if he was committed, but still wanted intimacy.
One night he wanted to get intimacy, but I didn't want to. He became very sexually frustrated. The following day, he shared Facebook messages with a woman which discussed some of the graphic details and that he had "tried everything." He would write that he didn't understand what my problem was why I wouldn't be intimate and that even though he wouldn't, that he totally got why some men cheat. He was also very insecure and never felt confident that I had genuine intent or thought he was good or attractive. He went on to tell them that he wasn't ready to get married due to my baggage. (that he knew I had when we met). The things he said to his friends were so mean, and they left out a lot of details, and as a result, his friends only heard one side and always sided with him and tried to make it seem like I was a bad person. He was one of those guys who is controlled and influenced by friends and what they tell him to do. He isn't a strong man who can make his own decisions. My loved ones would tell me; "what girl would want to be intimate with a man who speaks about her like that?" and that "he would never marry you." At the same time he was speaking badly, he was telling me he loved me multiple times each day.
Self defence
He was 6’5 and a muscular build. Around month 10, he was sitting on the couch with me. I had a bad instinct that he was messaging about me again so I asked to see his phone. Unlike what he would tell police (that he never gave me his phone and that I started hitting him when he wouldn't give me his phone - he did provide it.) Before providing it, he deleted something. As I was looking through it, a message popped up; "She wants to be a lawyer?" He jumped up, tried to grab the phone - twisted my arm and put all his weight on me. It was self defence. (The photos of his injuries were scratches, which were consistent with my self -defence and my clawing at his arms to get him off of me. After this incident, he told me that he loved me and would get a ring when he's ready. I was crying knowing he was still talking badly about me after he promised to stop. I didn't believe much of what he said after that. I knew that even if he said he was sorry and wouldn't do it, that it just meant, he would try harder to get away with it, by texting or talking at work, then turning off or hiding his phone at home. Once trust is breached, it gives a person a reason not to trust. He was supposed to be my safe place, not another person defaming me. I spoke to my loved ones who told me to try to be intimate with him and make things work, just until the trial at least, and that hopefully would get better and change. I was intimate with him again on my own free will - a part of me was even hoping that he would somehow magically get better. But then I started feeling bad again so I slept in a guestroom for a few weeks to get a break. Finally, in month 11, he threatened to call police again, to get me out of his house. He had threatened police before as well. I wasn't doing anything wrong. He then said I could stay until my trial if I paid some rent. I agreed but threatened a defamation law suit if he didn't stop talking badly about me to people. I also wrote to some of the women, who were mutual Facebook friends, to provide my side of the story as to why things didn't work out. He reported the self defence as an assault and I had to spend weeks in jail waiting for a bail hearing. My poor dog who suffers separation anxiety struggled for two days, until she was picked up and taken to my grandmothers, where she couldn't stop eating.
His promises of moving to Nashville also ended up being a joke. I have pursued actions against him for everything he had done, which my loved ones said was obviously a mean move, after knowing what I was already going through. It seemed like he was angry at me just saying my side of the story, cause he always promoted himself as a good guy. I recorded a phone call with him, where I asked him why he called police, where he said that I wasn't showing any affection for weeks and that he thought I was mad at him... and that I had threatened a defamation law suit, so his back was against the wall. He also said his friends made him do it (he is very influenced by friends - the same friends he said bad false things about me to, so of course, they didn't like me)
Looking back
Looking back, I believe he only liked me because of my looks and the idea that I was a country singer as he would often brag to friends. I think somewhere in there, I became more of a possession than a person. I also had Depression and PTSD before I met him. I was also an introvert. He often held it against me that I wasn't very social with his family and friends when we took trips, not realizing the internal struggle and how much it was out of my comfort zone.
Everything we go through should be a learning experience. In this relationship, I learned a lot. In a relationship, if both people have been hurt a lot in the past and have difficulty trusting, they can end up hurting each other with bitterness and anger. In a relationship, at least one person has to be willing to take a leap of faith for it to progress. In my relationship, he was very insecure - asking if he was handsome enough, good at intimacy, he didn't like being in photos or music videos... he always believed women had ulterior motives, like for money or his visa... and he started to feel like I did, even though I had genuine intent, but I felt the same way that he had ulterior motives with me, and wasn't planning to commit... he was concerned how long we could live together before becoming common law, worried about half his stuff being taken, even though I had offered a prenup and always told him he didn't need to help me with any legal fees or anything, and that I loved him regardless.
Lessons
The most important things to me moving forward are; 1. The man has to be kind and selfless to people and animals. 2. Enjoy healthy eating and not complain to friends that I make him eat veggies, appreciates homecooked, delicious meals. 3. He should be your cheerleader and never view your accomplishments as competition. 4. Knows what he wants and appreciated it - a real man doesn't need you to prove yourself to him, because he is already worried about if he's good enough and can make you happy. Every woman deserves a protector - a man who never wavers, never hurts her, just loves her.
It's hard to know if someone is genuine. There are so many different personalities, morals, values, views, fears, etc in the world. When a breakup happens, it's important to know that it just means that the person wasn't right for you. You can imagine - if they did this, if you did that - maybe it would have worked out differently, but the truth is, it wasn't God's plan. God was giving you another experience, to make you even more ready for the right person. I can think - only if I was bubblier every time he got home (he was very needy of attention and felt I was more focused on music and cases than him but he knew the circumstances would be rough for a temporary while), kept my personal issues to myself, never cried, talked to his family more, been intimate when he wanted, without commitment - maybe it would have worked. He can think - if only he didn't say bad things about me to people, if only he committed, if only he trusted, if only he was patient - but the truth is, it wasn't supposed to work. When you meet the right person, it will feel effortless. There will one day be a guy who is okay with all of my flaws and a woman okay with all of his. It reminds me of my old husky. I couldn't manage her or train her. I cried every day and my life was miserable. I found her a home, but got her back, because I felt bad. I then had to get her another home. If I had of gotten her back again and kept her, my life would have been miserable and the same with hers. When I let her go, I found Sage - my little jack Russell terrier and we are best friends, she's my light and I'm hers. Match made in heaven... Neither person in a relationship should have to bend so far as to where it's very uncomfortable as it can breed resentment. Even when I tried, I wasn't happy with him, because I was not getting what I needed in the relationship and neither was he. I mean there are things you definitely should change, I mean no girl deserves to have a guy say bad things about them to people, and if a girl has depression, it would be better that she takes some anti depressants so that she is more emotionally well in the relationship. Those things obviously should be done.
At the end of the day, a person who can turn on you so easy was never your best friend. It was unfortunate the relationship ended with legal cases. it didn't have to, but it seemed he was planning to end the relationship with police for a while.
Inspiring love
My music producer who is like a father to me is real love. He would never call the police on me or turn on me. His feelings for me never change, no matter what mistakes I make. He's a good guy and his wife is very lucky. One day, I want to find a guy like that. Remember not to confuse better with best and don't hype a guy up too soon. When you date very bad men, a bit better can seem amazing. Let them prove their worth it. Unconditional love is very rare - it's the kind, when no matter what you do, that person always see's the good in you and stands by you. Sometimes it's better to end things sooner than later. Going hot and cold can seem like manipulation even if your just trying to please them but then withdraw cause your sacrificing your own happiness.
Never let a man blame you, and say you are the reason he didn't commit. It's no ones fault - relationships should be easy when your with the right person. For example, if my being down and sad all the time was affecting him, he could have offered to go to a psychologist with me to get some treatment. There are always things people can do to make things work, but only if it's meant to be.
No matter how much he revenged, I would never - nor would I post anything. If someone isn't a very nice person and they want to hurt you, let them be. They will either change, when they learn their conduct isn't working, or else keep it up, but it's not your business. Just be kind always. People will never see eye to eye so trying to get them to see things your way, will never work. Just let it go, breath and focus on things that make you happy. On days when I was suicidal, he believed it was manipulation. He said he wanted to let me use the internet all the time, because I was nice, but the truth was he was trying to push me to, because he wanted me to focus more on him and was bothered by my using the internet all the time when he got home. Sometimes people just don't fit and there is nothing wrong with that.
Singers have always had difficulty finding long term relationships with good men. Etta James said it in her book, how every singer she knew had a pattern of dating bad man after bad man. Taylor Swift hasn’t had luck, Katy Perry… Marilyn Monroe (who just wanted to be loved), Doris Day… Etta had her own reasoning, but I have my own theory. I think it’s because men don’t like it that their girlfriends or wife would be in the public eye, and seen in a possibly sexual way, by other men. It takes a very confident man, who can trust the woman and know that she is trustworthy. Men see these women as beautiful possessions, and perhaps for monetary gain. There are always the exceptions, like Carrie Underwood etc, but we just have to live life and let God and fate guide us.
Is every guy the same? will they always revenge when they mess up and hurt you? probably not. I'm just going to prioritize my career and my own life for now, which make me the most happy and have reservations. I actually realized that marriage is not all that important to me. I am not writing it off completely, but it seems like a lot of drama. I think I prefer fun relationships. I have always wanted to wear a wedding dress though, but the best part of being a singer is that you can live your dreams in your music videos! After all, I have to save for my country house and tour bus and make my opry debut. ;)
Love Jade.
Ole iloinen!! (Be happy)
Hey :)
I wanted to write a diary entry today about how I've been feeling lately in hopes that it will inspire you to keep smiling. So often we feel like people are judging us, laughing at us, we dwell over people who are mean to us or try to hurt us, are angry at us... for a while, I had been struggling with letting other people affect my life. Remember to let go. Every day, you need to remind yourself of all the good things that are going on. Maybe it's that you get to eat your favourite food today, or the rain, snow or sun is inspiring, that you get to see a loved one, that you get to work on your dreams. Let all the negetivity go, your skin doesn't like it, your heart doesn't like it and your head doesn't like it. Smile and remember these 3 things: 1) Don't ever let someone who gave up on their dreams, tell you to give up on yours. 2) Do what works for you in life. What may work for someone else, may not be right for you. They can judge you and you can judge them but at the end of the day, ignore their immaturity and love your decisions that you make for you! 3) Don't try to hold on or change people. So often we try and try to hold on to people in our lives. We are afraid of missing them, losing them, we want to change ourselves for them. This way of thinking can often be toxic and it's important what Marilyn said which is; it's better to be unhappily alone than unhappily with someone, and this goes for friends, relationships and even family. When you let go of any insecurities and all of the above, you will truly be able to experience, love and LIVE your life. Remember to capture every beautiful moment of life too and share with others. I personally love looking through instagram and seeing all of the beautiful pictures you all take. xo
Are you afraid to see a fortune teller?
Okay, so basically, on my way home from the studio, I noticed a posting for a fortune teller. I had heard of these people before who use cards and your palm and their intuitions to tell you what your future will be like when it comes to health, wellness, love and relationships and your career, but seriously aren't you scared? I feel like I wanted to know in the moment and it might still be cool to know but what if it says something really bad? I guess it would be fun to check out. I mean, we should still live our lives trying our best to be healthy, good in our relationships, and pursuing our goals no matter what. I still don't understand how these people can be psychic. Do you believe in this superstitious stuff?